As many people know, MS is so unpredictable. For me, MS is about fatigue, pain, and how I feel on any given day. It can be hard to be positive and motivated to even get up. I am reminded every morning why I get up! My reason is my little girl Abigail! She is my blessing! She is what keeps me getting up and moving forward everyday!
This summer has been rougher in some respects than last summer. I had two surgeries within two months. The first one was a partial thyroid removal, which was cake. The second one, well, I didn’t like that one at all!! I thought my pain levels were bad before surgery, how wrong was I! After surgery they were even worse! I would not recommend cervical spine surgery unless you really need it! I had really bad neck pain, left shoulder pain, and a lot of numbness and tingling down my arm. Surgery was rough, but it certainly has helped!
The other rough part of this summer is that I am taking two graduate level classes. One of them I am doing an ROI Impact Study for a large non-profit organization. It is by far my most challenging class. The other class I am taking is developing a mini online course. That one I generally work on for a couple hours and then I am done for the week.
How these two things make the summer challenging is my little girl Abigail. I have plenty of homework to keep me busy, but she doesn’t have plenty of kids to keep her busy. During the day most of them are gone until after 5. The challenge, then becomes keeping her entertained, and still get my homework done. This challenge causes the “guilty mom” syndrome. I don’t want her to sit in front of the TV all the time. When I know she is stuck at home with nothing to do, my depression increases. If we are out and about, or she is playing with friends, then my depression is so much less.
We have done some fun things, we go swimming quite a bit, we go to the park when it is not too hot and I do homework while she plays, she goes to the sitter two days a week. Even with all these things….I still feel bad she is in front of the TV often. With that said, I will be finished Dec 2014. This last 18 months will be a distant memory for her in a couple years. That is what I try to keep in mind.
Even with all these seemingly “depressing” issues, it has also been a pretty amazing summer. I have had so many great opportunities placed in front of me. I have met so many wonderful people. I have been experiencing new things. I have such a great network of supporters and cheerleaders on my side. My pain levels are finally way down. I have been sleep through the night much better. I feel a twinge of excitement on the horizon! I have all my puzzle pieces, I can’t wait to see who they fit together!!
MOST OF ALL…….I AM STILL WALKING!!!!
There is hope out there! Everyone is worthy of greatness!!
Just keep swimming!