Life After Divorce

The day you say I do to the man of our dreams, you are not thinking about divorce. You may be thinking “why did he choose me?” or maybe you are thinking about how many kids you will have and where they will grow up. 

Regardless of all the dreams you have the day you marry, it certainly isn’t about divorce. After 22 years of marriage I divorced the man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. The transition from marriage and family is not always an easy one.

For many, the day their divorce was final they were probably celebrating, but that was not my experience. I felt that the life I worked so hard for was dying. Not only was I losing a partner I thought I would have forever, I was also losing a family that I had known my whole adult life.

Six months after the divorce was final, the house was sold and my daughter and I moved into a townhouse. I have no family where I live and I only managed to work a part time job despite 100’s of attempts of looking for full-time work. All my moving helpers left, my daughter went to stay with her dad and I was left alone in an empty townhouse.

I am a person that needs people and family and now all that is gone. I could have never imagined in my wildest dreams that this would happen to me. I am a strong, independent woman that is educated. I am an extrovert that loves people and loves helping others.

This time I am the one that needs help!  This is not a comfortable place for me to be, to be vulnerable enough to let people in. I am the one that usually comes to the rescue of others, not the other way around. 

After my father passed away several years ago and the hubby had asked for a divorce for the first time, I had been lucky to find a church family. My small group helped me get my house ready to sell, helped me move into my townhouse. I don’t know what I would do without there support.

I still feel alone most times, especially when my daughter is gone. However, I am learning how to combat that feeling by hanging out with friends and remembering that I have many people that DO love me.

Going through divorce is never easy. Not many people have as smooth of a transition as I did. I do have an amicable relationship with my daughter’s father and since he is now remarried, the 3 of us work together raising our daughter. This also is not always easy.  But it is important because it is making sure our daughter is happy.

I can go on and on, but I will stop here for now. If you would like to comment, please do so on my facebook page which I will have a link below. I would love to hear about your experience and maybe even publish it.